Dress Hunting

I began looking at wedding dresses with my mom and sister in June, two months after my engagement. We went to three different stores that day and went through countless dresses. At the final stop, as I pulled on a beautiful Morilee dress, I started to get teary eyed. It was the first dress I tried on that day that made me excited. I wasn’t ready to make a decision this early in the game, so we headed home.

The next time I went dress shopping was in July with my mom, sister and two young nieces. (Side note: my sister is technically my half-sister, so she also has another half-sister and a half-brother that are not related to me.) By the time we arrived to the first store, my sister had received a text message from her other sister with wildly bad news and she was very upset. My sister became very involved with the conversation, of course, because she wanted to support her other sister as well. The girls were busy running around, and I started to feel stressed out and irritable.

At one point, I put a dress on that had a lower cut back, which I love. I happened to have a mole on my back, and when my mother commented incredibly obnoxious about getting that mole removed before the wedding, that was the final straw for my mood. Everything went horribly downhill from there. I was ready to move on, but my mom found a mother-of-the-bride outfit she wanted to try on, so we hung around for a bit. During this time, the girls started running around again, and ran right into a (curtained) dressing room with someone in it. I was staying calm on the outside, but inside I was losing my mind. I was jealous and sad my sister was paying more attention to her other sister (I know, redic. ), I was frustrated with my nieces (who were just being kids), and now I was extra annoyed with my mother for taking so long.

We finally got in the car and headed to the next store. I can’t remember if we had eaten that day, or not. I’m going to pretend not, because I tend to get reeaally hangry veerry quickly, so I’ll let that be a partial explanation. As we were in route, my mom ends up asking about the half-sister situation and we ended up back on that topic. Although I was interested and felt bad, I was not digging the vibe at all. Maybe I was in full bridezilla mode, but I wanted those fews hours to be about me and finding my dress, and it just wasn’t happening. I must’ve said some snide remark, because my sister started up that she had to “change her plans” to do be there that day and she wished I was in a better mood, or something. At that point I totally snapped. I don’t know how it happened, but my sister and I were arguing and then I was yelling. I even cursed in the front of the girls. I was furious, but I felt ashamed, and I needed to get out. I think I cursed her off again while I hopped out of the car (we were at a light) and started walking through the middle of Lancaster, cutting down an alley so they lost sight of me. I immediately called my fiancé freaking out, a total mess, and begged him to come pick me up. He got in his car and headed my way while I kept walking around the streets, ignoring my mom’s calls.

I finally ended up picking up a call from my mom, who was in a panic mode about where I was and what the hell just happened. (Another side note: my mom and I could scream at each other for five minutes and then one hour later pretend nothing happened without any apologies being said. My sister is not like us, and needs an apology when harsh words said to her.) I told her I was heading to the dress appointment I had scheduled and was running late to, and she said my they would meet me there, despite my protest.

This store was fancier than most of the stores we had visited that far. I picked out the dresses I wanted to try with the saleswoman, who was very nice. I started to try on my selections with her help as I dreaded the arrival of my family. I gave her fair warning that it was going to be awkward. When they finally arrived, there was so much tension in the air with everyone except for my mom, who just wanted to look at the dresses and pretend nothing had happened. My sister didn’t say one word the whole time.

I found one pretty dress with an expensive price-tag. I didn’t love it that much and certainly wasn’t going to stick around, so we left. To my luck, right after we walked out my fiancé called and said he was around the corner. When I told my family I was leaving and getting a different ride, my sister finally spoke and said, “are you serious?”.

That was the last time I spoke to her for weeks. I knew I couldn’t reach out until I was over it and ready to make my grand apology. That was also the last time I was going to dress shop for quite some time.